Four Pillars of a Mindset

Updated: Apr 3, 2023

In all my years as an Esthetician and now as an Esthetic Nutritionist and Esteem Coach, I have worked with a range of clients- some who had great confidence and self-assuredness and others whose confidence was lower than a basement floor tile. Unhealthy self-esteem is closely linked to an unhealthy addiction to perfectionism born out of an inherent need to be better than…

In my experience, this breeds more insecurity which further decimates self-esteem. As young children, many of us watched the adults in our lives endure great stress to be what the world deemed perfect, only to discover perfection only exists behind rose colored glasses.

To this day, my work in this field revolves around lifting the spirits of people who don’t quite feel good about themselves on a daily basis. But I take a rather unique approach to self-esteem building. First of all, I cannot teach someone how to have great self-esteem. They either do or they don’t and I cannot create it for them. It is how they see themselves. I try to show my clients how to embrace their imperfections and be “perfectly imperfect” because we all have things we don’t particularly like about ourselves. The key is to acknowledge, not fixate on those things and focus instead on the uniqueness of our existence. I suggest taking those things that we don’t like or don’t love and see how we can turn them into a gift. Here’s how:

4 Pillars of a Mindset

It is truly amazing how many negative messages we are willing to let occupy our headspace rather than allow the opposite (positive) view to dominate. To help clients shift their perceptions, I introduce my “4 Pillars of a Mindset” philosophy- “feel, think, believe, and know”.

1-Feel:

This is our gut instinct, intuition, or sixth sense about something. We cannot always explain what we feel, but we can change how we feel. Feelings are essentially a deep sense of knowing, a visceral response that shapes our initial understanding.

2-Think:

Thinking represents possibilities and we limit our possibilities when our thinking is small. To think anything, good or bad, makes it possible for it to come to pass.

3-Believe:

We only believe what makes sense to us. You will likely not believe what you cannot rationalize and believing sometimes involves suspending reality and letting our imaginations rule. To believe the best about ourselves is paramount.

4-Know

When we know something we have made a decision to believe. It is a choice- to take all that we feel, think, and know and act on it. We have to know we are great, worthy, loved, etc.

How we see ourselves is an important part of self-esteem and self-esteem is an important part of our health. Therefore, what we think about ourselves greatly impacts our overall well-being. But in order to be healthy we can’t come from a place of hatred. Positiveness is the crux of healthy self-esteem. We can all change how we feel, what we think, and what we choose to believe. Loving all that we are is the key to improving our self-esteem and our health. Oh, and those imperfections are disguised blessings for another day’s journey.